i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
