i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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