operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
COCAINE IS GR8
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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