just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
