I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
