Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
