I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
