i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
this will be a night to untag.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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