yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
