I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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