Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
