he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
