Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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