This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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