i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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