I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
