we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
