no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Come see our sink grown plant.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
