As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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