I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
