I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Buhtt sex?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
