She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
