Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
