we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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