Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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