tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I will be naked everywhere
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
