All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
