Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
