Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
NoShamevember. You game?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I see more hoeing in ur future
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