I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
