Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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