White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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