Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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