I will die if light touches me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
