Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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