Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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