he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
