you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
