Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
