she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize