my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
