Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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