Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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