Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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