What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
