Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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