Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize