Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize