it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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