Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize