This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize
