I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
