Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Randomize
