Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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