Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
