I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
