return my video game
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
