Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
